Mini golf is fun.

Mini golf is fun.  Really.

I enjoy a good game of mini golf....and as luck would have it - the 7 year old who decided that my wife and I would be great parents for him thinks so as well.

This weekend - my wife and my son came home from one of his therapy sessions.  I could just tell by the sounds of the cranky people who came home that it didn't go all that well.  Or maybe it did - and people were just cranky for the fun of it?  One of life's mysteries that I'll never solve for sure.

If you haven't been reading my Facebook status (and why the hell not?) you likely won't know that I've been really busy working on a project for a client (much like I'm supposed to be doing right now...but...writing for you guys is more fun) and I'm getting sick and tired of staring at 3 computers.  I had decided before the cranky people came home that I would take them out for some mini golf...and enjoy some time in the sun.

So - obviously - I'm quite excited about going.  Who wouldn't be?  Well....my wife for one.  She wasn't into it - but Nicholas sure was!  He had his shoes on in seconds flat...

So now I'm committed.  There's no way I can change plans now - right?  So - I take out my trusty Crackberry and Google up a mini golf location in Mississauga....and off we go!

Upon out arrival to the Mississauga location...I find - nothing.  No mini golf.  Nothing that even resembles a good time.  Just a crappy strip mall...that at one point may have been a mini golf location.  

Damn.

"Nicholas....do you still want to go mini golfing?"

"YES!"

Out comes the Crackberry for a second attempt.  And I find one - it's in Scarborough - bit of a long haul for 30 minutes of fun....we put it to a vote, and since my vote doesn't count....we're quickly hammering down the QEW in search of the fabled mini golf of Scarborough.

Drive.  Drive.  Drive.  Stop for snacks.  Drive some more - and voila!!!

"There it is Nicholas!  The enchanted mini golf location at Gerrard and Victoria Park.  Woo hoo!!"

"Finally"...says the small person in the back of the car.

We go in.  Pay.  Get our tickets...and then I notice that my son is doing the tinkle dance (if you have kids...you'll get the reference.  If you don't....I won't ruin the surprise).  I ask my son if he wants to use the facilities.

"No!  I don't want to tinkle!  Let's go!!!!!"

Tinkling is never a question of want.  It's a question of need.  Next time I'll phrase the question so that I get the desired result.  I figure since we're in Scarborough (and not a nice section of Scarborough at that)...that if he decides he does in fact need to cease his tinkle dance....that he can duck behind a bush and giv'r.

Bad idea....and actually really bad timing on our part.

You see....there was a birthday party group with about 20 kids just starting out on the course.  And man - these kids where slow.  

Waiting for an autistic child can be difficult.

Waiting for an autistic child who is just totally rocking the tinkle dance can also be difficult.

So...we're waiting around for our turn - when one of the Dad's said we could play through if we wanted to.  I said thank you...and so did Mr. I Don't Needa Tinkle Time.

Things are going well.  Nicholas is totally working the putter (and he's really a pretty good player....just as long as his rules are in play) and having himself a grand time.

Then we get to the 11th hole.

We're stuck behind a little kid...who had skills....and his useless Mother who had zero skills.  It does not take 17 strokes to sink a ball.   Really.  If it takes you 17 strokes to sink one little ball...you really should just pick up the ball - let other people play through...and then proceed with your sucky mini golf after you've stopped holding other people up.  And besides - the scorecard says you get a maximum of 6 shots per hole.  So...not only are we stuck behind someone who has zero mini golf skills....she may also be illiterate.

What's a boy to do?

Well.....if you're my son - you take charge of the situation.  You drop your ball - and you just play through.  Never mind that you're getting dirty looks...and never mind that you totally showed up some Mother.

When the inept Mother suggested that we wait out turn.  I look at my son - and decide I'll let him handle it.  

"Nicholas....is there something we need to say to the nice lady?"  

"Yes.  You're too slow.  I don't have time to wait for you.  The card says six shots - you took way more than that....so now its my turn!"

I bite my tongue trying not to laugh...

Needless to say the Mother is not overly impressed....I however am thrilled for a number of reasons.  First - he actually read the card, retained what it said - and applied it to a situation to demonstrate that he knew what he was talking about.  Second - he stood up for himself...and he was nice and polite about it (for the most part).  And thirdly - it was just a cool thing to do!

I generally don't advocate not following the rules, and pushing ahead to get what you want....but when you're dealing with a tool.  Well....blunt and direct is best.  Easy to understand words help to.

So Nicholas plays through...leaving that lady in his dust.  At this point - I'm not even really playing....I can see that he's getting to the point where there really isn't much say in the matter....the tinkle dance must come to an end.  We finish up the game, return our clubs...and haul ass for the facilities.

A good time was had by all....and that lady?  Last we saw her - she was still on the 14th hole.  For all we know - she may still be there....