In The Beginning... "Now In Stereo!"

Today's posting, aptly titled, "In The Beginning..." is just that.  It's a summary of things that first caught our eye - and started us down the road of discovering Autism.  It's intended as a bit of a guide for other parents who are wondering about their child's development.  I get an email to that effect fairly often....someone I know will send me an email asking me about our initial experiences....as they cast a wondering eye at their own offspring.


So - without further ado - here's how it all went down.  And yes - I like the Motley Crue tune "In The Beginning - and how it leads into Shout At The Devil.  I really only want the ominous "In The Beginning" sound....but then ya know - it just leads into some classic mid 80's metal....so I used the whole tune instead. If you're not feelin' Motley Crue - just turn it off and read on.  If you are feelin' it....turn it up.  And if you're a lawyer representing Motley Crue about my use of the tune....take it up with YouTube - I'm just linking something that they are making available.  It's not like I'm getting rich here ripping off Crue tunes....

As best as I can recall - we first noticed that Nicholas stopped responding when we called to him.  He would just act as if he hadn't heard us.  So - being responsible and concerned parents...we took him to get his hearing checked out.  His hearing was fine.  He was nearly 2 1/2 at that time.


Around that same time - the daycare that we had him at wanted to speak with us about some 'observed' behaviour.  My wife and I went down to the daycare to have a little chat (interestingly enough - this is the same daycare my wife attended once upon a time....some of the same staff were their after all that time) about some things they had noticed about Nicholas.  We were glad that they took the time and effort to speak with us - they had a lot more experience with kids than we did at that time....so it was helpful to have people more skilled in child development than us provide some insight/concerns.  Basically - the behaviours expressed things like:

• he seems to be unaware of other people around him
• he likes to line things up - in order (we had noticed this as well).
• he doesn't always deal well with transitions
• he doesn't seem to have a lot of interest in socializing with other kids, or take part in group activities.

My wife and I took this information home - and began to wonder about our son...


It was also around the same time (actually 7-10 days before we noticed the hearing issue) that we had our son vaccinated with the MMR shot.  Now I know - there's a lot of controversy surrounding the use of vaccinations and the incidence of Autism.  And I'm not here to rehash all that nonsense - whether I believe MMR negatively impacted my son is besides the point.  And what good would it do anyways if we knew for sure?  But - for the record....I do not believe in coincidences (and I know a great many number of people who have had similar experiences)....and I do think it quite likely that it was the loading schedule itself that caused our son harm.  Kids today receive many, many more shots than we did when I was of that age.  I don't think it was MMR per se....but rather the frequency in which children were subjected to vaccinations that has a cumulative impact of children's neurological development.


We also noticed Nicholas had a fascination with lining stuff up.  Blocks.  Animals.  Books.  Whatever.  If it could be arranged from big to small....it was.  This is typical of kids on the spectrum - or so we learned.


Nicholas also had an innate skills when it came reading.  That we discovered is called hyperlexia (defined by the follow 'borrowed' text from Wikipedia):

Hyperlexia was initially identified by Silberg and Silberg (1967), who defined it as the precocious ability to read words without prior training in learning to read typically before the age of 5. They indicated that children with hyperlexia have a significantly higher word decoding ability than their reading comprehension levels.

Hyperlexic children are characterized by having average or above average IQs and word-reading ability well above what would be expected given their age.

In a nutshell?  Our son was reading at a very early - at a level far advanced for his age.  His recall on what he has read is nearly photographic.  He remembers everything he's read - and everything that's read to him.  Just try and miss a page when reading him a story he's already heard...


And then there was echolalia - the automatic repetition of vocalizations made by another person. It is closely related to echopraxia, the automatic repetition of movements made by another person.  Nicholas used to love repeating things back to us....and one occasions - when he gets really excited - he'll kind of flap his left arm (mostly when he's brushing his teeth these days however).


At this point - my wife got her social worker skills happening...and was able to get Nicholas in to see a Dr. by the name of Dr. Flanagan at St. Joseph's Health Care Centre.  Dr. Flanagan had opened a new clinic there - so we were able to bypass the year long wait that we would have had to endure if we booked at East York General.  Connections help sometimes.  From a few visits with Dr. Flanagan we were provided a from that basically said our child had autism....among other high end diagnostic expressions.


So - we noticed a few things.  Other people noticed a few other things.  A diagnosis here - a professional opinion there....and voila.  Instant diagnosis of autism.


Now....here's your written summary - you have a child with an issue on your hands....but no help provided as to the question, "Great?!  Now what the hell do I do?":


To be continued...

McRiot Round 2? Let's Put It To A Vote!

If you've been reading my blog...and I know at least 12 of you have - you're well aware of the mayhem and madness that I experienced last year at a McDonald's birthday party.

Long story short (and hey...you can always go back and read it) - my son was one of 6 or 7 other autistic kids who rocked the McDonald's on Dixie. For the most part - it was a good time. Ok....time heals most wounds. But it was a terrible time. And I'm not sure all that much fun was had.

 Not more than an hour ago - my wife happened to mention that we got another invite, to another party....at the same McDonald's location. This concerns me. I'm not sure that I want to take my son (who I'm sure if we asked would be delighted to attend) again. It didn't work out all that well last time. My wife is totally on the fence about this. It's not as if my child was particularly bad or anything - actually....he was quite good (until some other nameless child...ok...I know his name....but I won't mention it here...threw the air hockey puck at my son's head)...but not all the other kids where.

I guess my main concern (other than my son's overall well being and safety) is that there will be acts of violence...and there will be other parents there - who again....will do nothing to intervene when their own little hell spawn decides to act in an inappropriate manner. Yes - of course, my son was really well behaved (honestly!)....but the other kids? Not so much. I can't really fault the kids for getting all riled up. Most of them have sensory issues - and when you jam a bunch of easily stimulated kids into an enclosed area....well...the volume gets up there - and voila! Another McDonald's location makes it to the 6 o'clock news when a bunch of hoodlum 11 year old tear the place apart. So....as you can see - I'm on the fence. And as far as I know....I have no vested interest in whether a McDonald's is spared the destruction (I didn't buy that stock when it was a good deal....wish I had though...)

Do we go - and experience the joy and wonder of over stimulated kids? Or do we take a pass and enjoy a quiet and peaceful Sunday?

 Let's put it to a vote...use the comment section below to share your thoughts on this pressing matter.

Bowling + No Pizza = Meltdown

Hello faithful reader!

What you are about to read is based on an experience I just had not more than an hour ago. I apologize in advance if any profanity slips through...I'm not angry anymore - but I am extremely frustrated.

It's the last week of summer holidays...and I wanted to take my son out for something fun to do. Because that's what kick ass fun fathers do. And I happen to be one. I have a t-shirt from my son that says so (okay - it says World's Best Dad....but I know what he meant!).

I asked N if he wanted to go bowling or go-carting. I believe in giving him options...so that he feels that he has some control over his life. Bowling was his selection.

Great! I'm excited about the prospect of wearing anthrax infected shoes...and so is N. Grab a drink, snack - and away we go! So far - so good!

We get there (the bowling alley is about 1 minute from my house) - get ourshoes...and wander down to Lane 27. Again....things are going well! It feels great to be able to do something normal with my son. His life is hard at times....and I try to make sure that he gets to experience as many fun and normal things as possible. Because that's what cool fathers do. I happen to be one of those too.

So....we're bowling away....Nicholas is doing pretty well. He's more of a shot putter with the ball....but he's knocking the pins down - and he's thrilled that he's winning (I was throwing mostly junk balls...I wanted him to win).

So....we finish the first game....and by the time he has finished his snack....and decides that he would like some pizza from the snack bar because he is still hungry. I had planned for a lunch outing afterwards...but hey - who doesn't like greasy bowling alley pizza? Nicholas remembers that he had pizza there on his birthday party...so in his mind - pizza is the only option.

So we go to the snack bar....and oddly enough - I don't see pizza as an option on the menu board. I start to get a little worried.

The girl...or rather child...finally comes over to ask us if she can help us. Why yes indeed! My son asks for some pizza!

"Sorry - we only sell pizza for birthday parties."

"WTF?" crosses my mind.

My son then states...."well you have a picture of pizza up there and I would like some please!".

I can see how this is going to go....and he's trying so hard to use all the manners and calm voice that we've taught him to use....

"Well - there isn't any pizza"....and she walks away.

""WTF??" crosses my mind again.

I try to explain the deal to my son....he's not buying it - he wants what he wants....and besides the picture is right up there on the order board.

"Fries dude?"

"No!"

"Hot dog?"

"No!"

"Onion rings"

"No!!!!! Pizza!!!!"

I knew I was screwed when he wouldn't go for the fries. He won't eat hot dogs (smart call by the way)....and he's never eaten an onion ring in his life.

At this point he's in the throws of a complete and utter meltdown. I end up chasing him all over the bowling alley....trying to catch him - which I do. I can move pretty damn fast...even in sandals.

I kneel down to his level and try my best to explain the situation...he's not buying it.

I promise to take him to see Jenny (his girlfriend at Pizza Pizza) afterwards...

"No!!!!! I want bowling pizza!!! The picture is right there!!!"

{side note - we did go see Jenny afterwards....and he was cucumber calm the whole time while we were there}. In fact we had a whole conversation about what went down at the bowling alley. My son was sorry that he was 'hyper'...and I was sorry that I had to end our bowling outing. He gave me a high five...and we apologized to each other.

Now while all this is going on....with me chasing my son, and me trying to talk to him while he is screaming and freaking out - I begin to realize (duh!) that we were the centre of attention (obviously) and the whole bowling alley is staring at me like I'm the worst father imaginable.

And here is what I'm frustrated about...and here is where I may end up typing more profanity than you're used to reading:

Listen up you @ssholes! I don't need you staring at me or my son. Can't you see I'm having a hard enough time as it is with out all you jerks staring and gawking at me like I'm some sort of child molester?

Can't you #ucking see that my son is different...and all you people pointing and laughing is mean and harmful?

Don't you understand that I'm trying my very best to calm him down and make everything all right???

You think I enjoy having to hold him under one arm in order to prevent him from running away...while I try to pay with the Interac machine? This is a skill that I'm sure many parents of autistics master.

And to the lady who made the nasty comment - which I won't repeat here...I hope one day I see you in need of help, and that I'm there to witness it. Because I'll make a similar comment to you...and laugh in your face. Karma is a two way street you witch...and you'll have earned it. But I will end up helping you anyways...even though you don't deserve it.

So here it is all - an open note to all the evil, nasty people who happened to be at the Dundas Bowlerama at about 11:30 on Sept 2, 2009.

Don't you dare sit there and pass judgement on me. You haven't lived this life for 5 years. You have no idea what I experience.

I am a great father - and I know that for a fact. My son tells me all the time. Many fathers end up bailing on their autistic children. Well screw you....I'm in it for the long haul...and I've been living this life for 5 years - and I don't give a damn what you think if me....but I will fight back on behalf of my son. He's not able to yet....but he's learning.

Sitting at home and watching a Jenny McCarthy special on Larry King does not even remotely quality you as being able tell me what I'm doing wrong or think ill of me, or my son. All of these kids are unique...and they all respond to different things in different ways. That article you read in Cosmo or whatever pop-up book it is that you just finished in no way prepares you for this lifestyle.

You have to live it to get it. And if you don't get it - do me a favour; just shut up and let me try and deal with it the best I can. I don't point fingers at you because you're ugly now do I? :)

Oh...and to the girl who tried to offer me a coupon for my next visit? Get real. I won't be back. I'm going to find a bowling alley that actually has the stuff they advertise on their menu board....and if I have to drive 1,000 miles to find it....that's cool with me. My son is a great little bowler.

Is a little pizza too much to ask? Because it certainly seems that understanding from anyone these days is.