The Perfect Tree

As with many of my blogs posts....an event transpired in the very early hours of the morning.  Good times!


Have you ever read, "The Night Before The Night Before Christmas"?


I have.  Once.


Or rather - it was read to me by my son last night.  


That's how bed time goes these days - I don't get to read anymore.  I get to listen.  And I'm not supposed to make silly little character voices either.  Or so I've been told by management....


So...last night - Nicholas reads me the story....and then he starts to ask questions about our Christmas tree.  Most namely being ' "Where is it?"


Nicholas somehow got it in his head that if we didn't put the tree up...NOW!...then Santa just wouldn't stop by our house.  I tried to show him on the calender that there are still 22 days left until Santa is supposed to pop by - and that we're all good for now.  I even promised to set the tree up this weekend.


Not good enough.


It has to be now!!!


Not later!


After much disagreement on the subject of when the tree is going up - a deal was extracted from me.  That's how it works around here as well.  My son and I debate something - back and forth endlessly....and when he see's Daddy isn't buying it - he pulls a Monty Hall.


"Ok Daddy!  Here's the deal......."


Oh - this should be really good!


"You go to sleep....and this weekend we'll put the tree up!"


I agree - this is a great deal.  And what I wanted anyways.....


My son is not known for living up to his end of the deal.


At precisely 5:11AM I hear the four words that strike fear into my heart:


"Hey Daddddddddy! Get up!"


"No!  Go away!" replies a rather grouchy father.


"It's today - and that means its time to put the tree up"


I'm lying there, trying to figure out how he got that it's now the weekend.  It damn well isn't.  It's Thursday.  Gonna be Thursday for the entire day when you come think about it.  But the weekend...it most certainly is not.


I roll over - hoping against hope that Nicholas will either go away....or at least go and harass his mother - who happens to be now more than 2 feet away of the other side of the bed.


"Daddddddddddddyyyy!!!!"


Rolling over doesn't work.  It just results in having your blankets forcibly removed from the bed.


"Fine dude.  Let's go get the tree happening.  BUT - just so you know....Santa isn't impressed with you waking me up so early....so don't expect a whole helluva lot of loot under the tree this year."


"Oh Daddy.  You're just kidding.  Now stop fooling around and go get the tree from the secret room."


"Ok sucka...but you have to come and help"


My son than makes a noise that can best be described as a squeal of delight.  I have no idea how to spell the sound he made....sounded like a good time though!


My son then takes my hand....and walks me all the way though the house....into the basement, past the dungeon......along the dark enchanted hallway....until we reach....The Secret Room (no big secret really...its just the room with the freezer....and all the unopened toys that he has yet to get.  We don't let him in there). 


I open the door to The Secret Room....and I grab a small bag of ornaments.  I tell Nicholas to grab the big box with the tree and haul it upstairs.  He actually tried to move it....and he was making a go of it - until he said, "Nope!  Too heavy for me....you better carry it!"


I do.


We get the box upstairs, and we start taking bits of fake tree out of the box (that was made in China).


I am the master of the artificial tree!


I can assemble one of those mothers in under three minutes....at which point - I decide that there is no point going back to bed.  My son is happy with the tree action - and I have further elevated my God like stature in his eyes.  It was really nice to hear "Thank you Daddy"....without my prompting him.


I'll always get out of bed for something like that.....because in a few short years - I won't be cool at all.  I'll just be that crabby guy with little to no hair who yells at the neighbour's cat to get off his ride.  Uh oh....I think I might already be there.