I got scammed v2

Chaos!

Mayhem!

Mass destruction! 

Oh the humanity!

And what the hell happened to my bacon?

Oh wait.  Let me see...oh who, oh who could it have been?

Could it have been Kevin Bacon looking to liberate his namesake?

No.

It was Nicholas.  The master of You Tube and all things trains related has scored yet again.  And this time around he scored with style.

Allow me to elaborate if you will...

I made bacon this morning.  Yes - faithful reader - a lot of bacon is consumed in this house.  Probably too much...but life is short, and you just never know when it'll all come crashing down (my bet is Jan 6, 2253...on my birthday - but long after I'm gone)...and really - what's too much bacon in a world of global warming, the Taliban - and David Miller as mayor of Toronto?

I provided my son with three pieces of bacon this morning.  That's the limit we try to set....but we need to keep an eye on things it would seem.

So here's how it all went down:

Nicholas was watching You Tube and eating bacon.  I was sitting on the couch debating whether I should go eat the bacon that I made (note to self - learn to trust my baconintuition)

My son...runs to the kitchen.  Top speed.

My son makes a bit of kitchen noise.

My son comes running back with a fistful of bacon.  At least 4 pieces (there should have been more...I think he had already snagged those ones).  I'm not kidding - he's got a fistful of bacon and he's working on mowing it down.  And laughing the whole time!

I make a comment....something to the effect about that actually being Daddy's bacon.

The response?

"Nope!  You left it on the counter for too long.  It's fair game!"

I can't argue this.  I happen to agree.  I think I've done the same to my wife.  I'll have to ask...

"Well...at least grab a napkin so you don't get the mouse all greasy and nasty"

"Ok"

Back to the kitchen...and I follow.

Behold!!!!

One last piece of bacon.

It's there!

I can see it....

Or at least...saw it.

I moved too slow on that one as well....and well...opportunity missed.

When I enquired as to why Daddy's last piece of bacon was stolen....

"Because it was tasty and I like bacon!"

I sigh...it's not as if he's actually wrong.  I try not to engage him in discussions where Daddy ends up looking clueless...or baconless as the case may be.  Shaking my head I proceed to get a bowl of cereal...snap, crackle, pop just isn't the same....

At least he handed me a glass of his blueberry juice...with a comment that I need to eat more healthy - as I don't seem to eat much.

No kidding dude.

Mr. I don't need any help!

It's started.  

The ceaseless battle between trying to be a helpful parent...and letting go and watching your kid gain his Independence.

My son has a new line that he's been working on for a little while.  Quite simply its, "I don't need any help!" or sometimes worded as "go away Daddy...you're in my way!"

Over the past few weeks there have been a number of things that I am no longer required to be a part of:

• I am no longer welcome during bath time.  It's become shower time at this point anyways...and he doesn't need my help for that.  But he does need me to warm the towels up in the dryer (I invented the Toasty Towel!).
  

• He no longer needs my help doing his own laundry.  Just today - it was announced that I had to "come downstairs with me right away!" so that I could see that he had in fact emptied the washing machine....loaded the dryer...and fired it up!  No Bounce sheet though....so you still need my help there little man!  Unless you don't want nice and fluffy laundry - in which case I'll have nothing to do.
  

• I am no longer needed to help him with his seat belt.
  

• I am no longer needed to help him pick out what he will wear for the day.
  

• I am no longer needed to help build trains sets.
  

Sigh.

He still needs me on occasion though:  

• I'm the guy who fixes computers
  

• I'm the guy who gets to cut his drawing out of the paper that he drew whatever on.
  

• I'm the guy who gets to drive him all over town for his various social activities.  One thing is for sure....he has a full dance card!
  

• I'm the guy who is instructed to 'build that!'.  "That" being something that he has seen on You Tube while watching classical music....I've build a lot of stages over the past year or so.
  

• I'm the guy who despite all that he can do on his own still looks up to me for a hug when he's feeling sad....and I'm also they guy who has to "pick me up!" so that he can peruse his video collection...or grab one of his Captain Underpants books (like he hasn't memorized them all at this point!).
  

I'm the guy who at some point will be left there....standing way behind him as he takes off on his bike all by himself.  He's almost there now....then what am I going to do?

I know as parents that we're all supposed to encourage our kids to grow and gain their Independence so that they can handle life after the parents are gone.  I'm not ready for him to have all that Independence.  I like him at 7 - just the way he is.

I like the fact that Daddy is the 'cool guy' and the one who can solve all of life's problems.  And I want that to last forever.  In a few years...he'll have a different opinion of Daddy.  I'll just be Dad then (to my face)....or @$&%!*&^ (behind my back)....and I likely won't know a damn thing because I have no clue what life is like.

Stay 7 Nicholas....or at the very least stay 7 at heart (like me!)...and remember that once upon a time - I was actually a cool guy.  I won't always be....