I can never make enough bacon.

I like bacon.  I really like bacon.

Who doesn't?

Bacon is also a food group...and I can never make enough.

While my wife is getting ready to go to work, and slog it out in traffic (so far working from home is working for me)...I am in the kitchen, creating a breakfast feast bar none.

Ok...so perhaps I exagerate somewhat - but you don't know that.  Unless I've made you breakfast...and there are a few ladies out there who can claim that.  Ahem...family oriented post Paul - must stay focused.

My son also happens to like bacon.  I mean he really likes bacon.  He's totally down with the crispy strips of swine goodness.  

So on his plate are (or were) four...count 'em four pieces of bacon - and some french toast.  You'd think he'd be good with that right?  Wrong.

While I'm still in the kitchen cleaning things up (yes...I'm a guy and I do that...I also do laundry, vacuum, cook, windows - the whole nine yards.  I'm quite the catch indeed!  You reading this all you ladies who didn't like the breakfest in bed I made for you?  You're missing out - big time!).  A little boy comes cruising into the kitchen...face covered in ketchup - when he spots the holiest of holies - MORE BACON!

"Daddy - I want your bacon!" says my son in the ever so sweet, but slightly demanding voice.

"Sorry Nickels (there you now know his name - it's Nicholas) - this is for Mommy and Daddy/"

"No!  You're wrong - its for me!!"

"Really - who said that?"

"I did."

I pause.  I find it hard to argue with his logic.

"Okay - Nickels - you can take one piece....you've already had four."

"No - I want the whole plate!"...as he starts to grab the plate and prepare for his escape.

"No way sucka - this is for Mommy and Daddy...you can have one piece."

"Nooooooo.....you're wrong.  It's all for me!!  Mommy said so!"

"Really now....is that true Nickels?"

"Wellllllll....not really...but I do like bacon"

Again - the logic that you just can't find fault with.

So - I give him two pieces of bacon.  He's happy.  I'm not quite as happy....but what can ya do?

Nickels proceeds to grab his bacon - and haul ass out of the kitchen before I change my mind....as he's leaving I remind him to eat his french toast as well.

He never did eat the french toast - he claims he's full now.  

I throw out a lot of french toast...particularly when I make bacon.

And you thought Monday's sucked!

Well, well, well!!!  This just in!

My son (who I'm trying to continually refer to as little man, little dude, etc.) is having a good week at school so far.  Sure - it's only Monday...but after the mayhem of last week - it's a victory we're quite happy about.

I just love getting the phone calls from school (sarcasm alert!) - telling me what trouble my son has gotten into.  What?  They can't wait until the end of the day to tell me?  They now know that I will not go to the school to pick him up - which they can't legally ask me to do anyways (yeah...I tore a strip off of the principal last year when he suggested that.).  My son is smart - really smart.  Big time smart.  Really smart indeed!

If I were to give in and go pick him up from school - I'd be doing that every time he decided that he didn't want to be at school.  If "Fun Daddy" comes to pick him up just once....it'll become a daily routine for sure.  Not that I blame him at all...I'm a fun guy to hang out with!!  :)

Back to the principal thing of last year.  I get a call - at work mind you...because at the time I still worked for other people (which I currently don't!).  The principal starts in on me about the mayhem my son was causing.  So I ask this guy - "what set him off?  I just dropped him off 45 minutes ago...and he was in a good mood when I entrusted you people with my son's care for the day".  He hemmed and hawwed over that one...so he obviously didn't know.  Then he demands that I come and pick him up from school.  

Whoa dude.  Better check yourself right then and there.

That's right - demands!  Now if you know me...you know that making demands of me is a  guaranteed way to ensure you're not going to get what you want (my career as a hostage negotiator was short lived).  So - I take a deep breath...and politely remind the principal that under the Education Act of Ontario - that he cannot legally ask me to do that.

He pauses...

He knows I'm right.

And he know's he's just stepped in it - big time!

So....what does he proceed to do?  Make it much worse for himself.

"Well...Paul...your son is in my office right now....and I'm a rather expensive babysitter."

I wish I were making that up - but alas...it's the real deal.

After I envisioned just how long I would last in jail after the police pried my hands from this guy's neck (I figured I'd last out the pre trial hearing, be found guilty of attempted PrincipalisExterminus...and then getted shanked in prison defending my Coke stash...but alas - I digress)...I let loose with the wittiest zinger I could come up with.

"Well - yes, I can certainly understand how you feel.  But really - aren't you a teacher first, and an administrator second?  Perhaps you want to spend some time with my son so that you can fully appreciate what autism actually is.  I mean as the person in charge of the school - aren't you supposed to be on top of these kinds of issues?  My son isn't the only person in the TDSB who has these challenges.  Is this how you routinely deal with a problem - by calling the parents and making demands that you know you aren't legally entitled to do in the first place?"

The conversation ended shortly after that.  And he never called again...then again...he's not even at my son's school anymore.  He was filling in for a few months before the end of the school year.  

Yeah - it's only Monday...but after all the calls from the school last week - I'm happy to hear that no teachers were kicked, no chairs were tossed...and that no principles were regretting thier career choice.

Life is good.

Ketchup Chips

This little man never ceases to amaze me (he's having a good day thus far)!

I'm not sure how he comes up with this stuff...but he does.  We just had a conversation about snack time.  If you have an autistic you know that food options are pretty limited...and just getting some calories into these kids can be a challenge at times.  So - we're pretty open to just about anything.

So the question, "Hey little man - are you hungry?  What would you like for snack?"

Not surprisingly - the answer is "chips!!".

Ok - we can do that...and I'll have some myself!

But not just any chips - chips with ketchup!  

So....now there is a little man sitting at the table, dipping his chips into ketchup - and having himself a really good time.  How could you not have fun doing that?

Ketchup is a food group.

We go through a lot of ketchup in this house...

Where to start?

So.  Here we are.  You sitting there in front of your computer...and me sitting in front of mine, while I try to figure out where to start with this?  The beginning always seems like a good spot - but not for me....or at least not today.

• I happen to be the father to a little boy who is very smart.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who could read at the age of two.  Now 7 years of age...he reads at a grade 8 level.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who is damn cute!  Lucky for him I might add.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who doesn't always understand what to do in a social situation.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who can be in a happy-go-lucky mood one minute, and then a raging child the next.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who loves to sing, draw - and pretend he's a composer (he can hear a classical piece and tell me the name of the dead person who composed it).
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who retains every word he's ever read - and can repeat them back - verbatim.
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who never lost his words - and in fact....seems to know most of them.
• I happen to the the father to a little boy who has mastered all that is the Internet...can spend hours on YouTube listening to classical music....and writes his own short stories (and pastes pictures from the Internet into Word).
• I happen to be the father to a little boy who walks through life - living in his own little world (I often wonder if the world he lives in is a happier place than the world I see outside my door).

I happen to be the father of a little boy who is autistic.

And it's hard.  

Really hard in fact.

Everyday presents a new challenge to overcome - and everyday I am reminded that God does in fact exist.  God lives in the smile of the little boy who is currently walking up the stairs...pausing as he passes me while I type away...and asks me "Daddy - what are you typing now?"

Good question little dude....good question indeed.