Humpty Dumpty Didn't Fall....

....and he wasn't pushed either.  He was thrown.  I know it for a fact.  I saw the event go down in my kitchen not more than an hour ago.  It was a horrible scene - full of drama and devastation.  Oh the humanity.


So....what actually did happen you ask yourself.  Hang on.  I'm getting to it.


My son...who if you've ever read my infrequently posted to blog...is an interesting child.  Big time.


Today while I was downstairs in the office....I hear the words, "Daddddddddddddddddyyyy come here!!!!  Please".  He's demanding and yet polite about it at the same time.  Nice.


"What do you want dude?"


"I need your help."


"With what?"


"My story!"


"Huh?"


"Will you please stop whatever it is you are doing and come here?"


Sigh....sure....I needed a break.  The job search wears on me at times....and I'm sure there is something amusing afoot.  So - like the good dadio that I am (he tells me that I am...so there!)...I trek upstairs to see what's up.


What's up is the fridge door being wide open.


"What's with the fridge being open?  We have a/c dude....we don't need to cool the house by leaving the fridge open."


A little hand is just pointing at the eggs.....


"Huh?"


"Daddy!  I need an egg!  Just one please."


I don't like the sound of this.  But like I said - I needed a break from what I was doing.  And besides - this seems to have the potential to be funny as hell.  I'm game.


So....I take out the carton of eggs - and hand him one.  Singular.  No way he's getting all the whole carton.  I like funny.  I don't like (overly) messy.  It's not like it's Devil's Night....and this ain't high school....oh wait....that was me and my hoodlum friends.  You never read that....


"Here dude.  Here's your egg.  Now....just what do you have in mind?"


"Ahem!"

"Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again."

And then?

Wham-o!  The little man who doesn't throw a baseball all that well...wails the eggs onto the floor as hard as he can!

"Ha ha Daddy!!!  Look at Humpty!  He's broken.  Big time!"

"Um yeah....I can see that.  I like your story telling...and the mess isn't so bad"

"Glad you think so.  And guess what?"

"Yesssssssss?"

"Since all the King's horses and all the King's men couldn't put him back together again.....you get to clean him up.  You are the King to me."

If you know me....then you can imagine me rolling my eyes.  I'm good at it.  Too good on occasion.  I'm also gullible on occasion.

And with that?  The story teller/kitchen vandal darts out of the room with a slightly maniacal laugh. 

"Ha ha Daddy!"

So....I cleaned up the egg.  Picked the shell fragments off the fridge, off the cabinet....and off my leg.  I'm amused...and besides - I'm not a fan of eggs any ways.  Just ask my Mom.

Now....if he thinks he's gonna tell me some story about a cow jumping over the moon....well....I fear that won't end well.

We'll see.